A New Outlook on Being a Writer: The Struggle of Fighting a Flaw

Hello Everyone!

It has been a while since my last post, I have been deep in the Gelder world…book three is off for another round of editing and on schedule for a November release! Almost here. I feel like it is some of my best work and I cannot wait for all of you to read it.

Also, I am excited to announce that I will be starting a small short stories edition here on my blog that will be free! It is going to be called Gelder Shorts and will contain scenes with characters from the Gelder books, stand alones in their own right but will also add to the Gelder storyline of the book that you can purchase on Amazon.  I will be working on the first installment and then posting it shortly!

Now back to my new outlook of being a writer, like I said in my last post, I am a very stubborn person. This stubbornness is actually what led me to becoming an author after a lifetime of dreaming about it. I did promise more detail on what exactly happened in my pregnancy so here it is.

In the last stage of my pregnancy, I was really struggling, but I refused to admit it. Even though I was so swollen that my doctor said: “We may have to cut off the ring!” when I asked her about my wedding ring and my concerns that I could not get it off, I shrugged off my worries. Along with gaining thirteen pounds in a week, having severe nausea and headaches, I still said everything was fine.

Once my water broke, and agonizing hours in the delivery room, it was discovered that I had severe preeclampsia and was stuck in the hospital for five days! If I had only reached out to my mother, or any handful of friends who had been through labor already, I would have been able to get the help I needed before it got as bad as it did.

That very stubbornness led me to go back to work early, even though I was still dizzy when walking and still could not control my blood pressure. I ignored the blatant signs that I was suffering from postpartum depression, I was not eating when separated from my baby, not sleeping, and every day I felt a little bit worse than the day before.

Finally, I couldn’t keep putting on a brave face, and I collapsed in the classroom, terrifying some twelve-year-olds. One moment I was describing the grading rubric for their solar system projects and the next I was crashing to the floor.

All because I was stubborn… And it did not end there. I am still stubborn, even now a year later and I still refuse to ask for help. But I am trying! But flaws are fickle, even when we win the hard battle of admitting we have them, changing is an uphill battle.

Right now, my gut reaction to any suggestion of help is… No, I am fine! Even when I am not. After spending a fantastic day with my one-year-old, I feel so tired some days, but the writing muse is still hard upon me. I end up writing in the wee hours while the house sleeps… Who needs more than three hours of sleep anyway?!

But enough of this poor me complaining! Thank you all for reading about me, and look for the first edition of Gelder Shorts!